Monster Keys To Squish the Fish

 

 

For those of you new to the show, I hate Florida and after Jacksonville I hate Miami more than any other portion of Americas Colon. From the art deco buildings to the beaches filled with panhandlers I can’t stand it. FLA is the reason I wake up in the morning rooting for the polar caps to melt. If I had been born in Cuba I’d swim south to get away from Castro. In short if you spent more than three days in this state you’d understand why Hemingway is dead …. Here are my Monster Keys to Squish The Phish 

 

Get on your Hoss and RIDE

I want flipper chasing his own tail midway through the first quarter. And I want him looking for a Star-Kist net by halftime … Spread this team out and light them up. The Ravens went nuts last week out of Hos and we all know who runs this better than anyone . 

 

Don’t Settle 

Too often last week the Pats settled for field goals.  While this is great if you drafted Gostkowski in your fantasy league, this doesn’t bode well for my vision of a 53-0 score. Get in the red zone and punch it in. 

 

Mix it up 

Already we are seeing a repeat of past sins , Mr Michelle is in the game load up the box it’s a run pay, Mr White it’s a pass play . can we PLEASE not pound Sony into the line with nowhere to go TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME ,,, 

 

Own Third Down 

While the D certainly did it’s job last week holding the Steelers to just 3-12 on third down, Brady and company managed to convert just 50% of their 14 opportunities to move the chains on third and whatever… while this number is far from abysmal it isn’t a set of digits to crow about either.  God, I miss Amen-dola 

 

Win The turnover Battle 

How do bad teams not only stay in games but pull off miracles? Turning over good teams.. Take care of that rock … 

 

Fuck Harvard ….

Get into the backfield and make Fitzpatrick realize he’s not getting paid enough to do this anymore…. “ I want him walkin on his elbows in the morning Joe-Bob “ 

 

Five of the past six seasons the Patriots have dropped this game to the Phish.  While I know in my heart there is no way this Patriots team should lose this game, I felt the same way each and every time on the past six trips to this filled in mangrove swamp.  Let’s get in there get a W and on to Just.Eat.The.Snacks 

As always you can follow / give me grief on twitter @Tmurph207 

 

Author: Thomas Murphy

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